Addiction Study

The Study 

I have been secretly running a study.  A study to find out what is the most addicting drug affecting kids these days: Marijuana, Alcohol, or Orgasms. I know, Orgasms aren't technically a drug.  But since they are pleasurable and cause euphoria, for reason of this study, I will call them drugs.  Twelve people participated in this study.  Four deemed pot heads.  Four deemed alcoholics, four people addicted to sex or masturbation. Also I was not allowed to take part in the test.  To determine these labels, the standards were set as followed:

Anyone who smokes marijuana more than 5 times a week is a pothead.

Anyone who drinks more than 4 times a week is an alcoholic.

Anyone who engages in sexual activity that ends in an orgasm more than 6 times a week is addicted to sex.  Note: All four of the sex addicts were male.  Two where in relationships and two were just gross masturbators.

All 12 of these people agreed to surrender their addictions for two weeks, or as long as they could go.  The results were shocking!

The Results.  Welcome to Shock-town.

It broke down like this:

Half of the potheads made it two weeks. 

Only one alcoholic made it.

Zero sex addicts made it two weeks. 

I thanked them all for their participation and gave them a hearty handshake, except the masturbators.

My Conclusion.

I do not believe that orgasms are necessarily the most addicting drug out of the bunch.  The test was flawed.  You see the sex addicts were at a disadvantage.  They could not separate themselves from their drug.  It's easier to say "I'm not going to that party because There might be booze" than it is to say "I won't shower because then I might get my dick soapy".  To be fair I should have glued a bong and slice to the potheads and duct taped a 40oz to the alcoholics.  As for the debate of the addiction potency of marijuana vs. booze, I think the test shows alcohol is more addicting.  One could argue that booze is easier to get than pot and is more socially acceptable.  To that I remark I reply, you sir are obviously are not from Drink&Drugsbury, where marijuana  is almost as saturated into the community as the Mexican lawn workers.  In the end, my only real conclusion is that I love all three.  Goodnight, America.

*I will not reveal the identity of any one who took part in this study.  Stop asking about the masturbators damnit.