Top Ten Complaints About Sudbury/LSRH

10. Uncreative Cursing.  I like to strive for unique off the cusp insults thats both sting the mind and massage the intellect. Saying someones a Douche Bag or a Fuckface just doesn't cut the mustard with me.  I Like Ass Pirate, or Dickrag, or maybe Vaginal Discharge.  Come on gang, you can do better than 'Jerk Off'.  It just makes for better times when everyone is being called something new and terrible.

9.  New Idomatic Expressions That Become Used By Everyone.  YYEAAAAHHHH, Word Up, It's On Like Donkey Kong, Riding Dirty, Chyea Chyea, 'Salt.  All of these originated form two places.  Rap Music or Tahj Townsend.  It is undeniable.  Tahj Introduced Chyea Chyea and 'Salt, and it was a fucking awesome 30 minutes while only me, him, Nick and Bwass used them.  But hey, go right ahead and say 20 times in a 2 minutes conversation.  You fucking dickrag.

8.  The Guy Who Tells You How Fucked Up He Is Right Now, Eleven Times.  I get it, you can do alot of drugs.  Good for you!  Self Control? Common Sense? Fuck that.  Just be the stupidest ass you can be, and TELL ME ABOUT IT. Because I've never gotten fucked up and I need to live vicariously through you!  Thanx bud.  Your Seeing Double? Coooooooolllll. Just sit in the corner, don't move.  Maybe, choke on your own tongue.  Save me the trouble of introducing you to my knife.

7. Pants.  It's hot....

6. People Who Call the Cops on Us.  If my neighbors ever called the cops on me.  Their family dog, Lucky, would by drug behind my volvo while i drove up and down our street blasting 'Oh What A Wonderful Morning'.  Remember Nick's?  We weren't even loud and the neighbors called Nick's dad and the cops.  None of your fucking business old man.  Do I call the cops while you sit bitterly wishing you were young again?  They just make waves for the hell of it....old mans gotta hurry up and die....

5. People Who Think They Know What Its Like to Have It Bad.  I don't know really, and neither do you.  I am sick of hearing people tell me how hard their shit is.  You go to school.  You might do your HW or study.  You do some work.  BOOOOO HOOOO. STFU! STFU! STFU!  It's not that fucking hard.  You don't know what hard living is, you will never know.  Oh yea, and don't pye for attention by saying oral feces.  No, missing one meal doesnt make you anorexic you cow.  Now shut up and put down the fork.

4.People Whose Political Views are Formed For Them By Their Parents.  I don't care if you republican, a democrat, liberal, communist, facist, foot fetishist or a goddamn Dutchman.  I just don't need to hear you're parents skewed views spewing from your mouth like a busted sewer pipe.  Many of you obviously take what you're parents say and just adopt it as golden truths.  Bravo.  Way to think for yourself. I hope someone punches you with a roll of dimes.  I will quote a girl from our school who recently moved with her brilliant display of knowledge on the subject of School Reformation.  "No, see Republicans want teachers to take more tests so it's harder to be a teacher and Democrats want to hire dumb teachers...."  I considered stabbing her in the eye with a fork, but I soon realized that wouldn't save me from having that little speech etched into my brain.

3. Having to Take  847483743897 Tests for College.  In my parent's day, there was the SATs. Thats all. no SAT IIs ACTs fucking PSATs, or anyting else.  One fucking test and it did them just fine.  I'm wasting my good sleep time on Saturday morning to take a 4.5 hour test in fucking Salem?  Fuck you!  I would rather stick a thermometer up my dick and hit it with a hammer.  I don't care if you make one super test of KUFUNNANAPAW(pronounced Ka-fun-na-na-paw), just make sure I can get it done in one fuck sitting.

2. The Non-Clique-iness of the Senior Spot.  I don't know about you but I liked hanging in the caf.  I have about 8 people I can be next to without vomitting from their retardation, so the caf tables did me just nice.  Now I am near people who make Terri Schvio look like a goddamn Mensa Member.  I nap next to my good friend Brittany and lift my head to what I think is the love purr of Stevie B and am horrorfied to find not the purr but the territorial death growl of Kayla O.  No thankyou.

1. The Po-Po.  No need to elaborate, but I will.  How many times has my heart jumped to 400bpm's just because I saw a cop.  Not to mention when I actually am riding dirty*.  And why is there a woman cop anyway?  Is there not a meal she should be preparing somewhere? Here's a kicker, the new police chief asked for more cops, and town gave him more.  We have four more BaconMen out there now just waiting to catch you rolling through that stop sign.  Why did we need more cops?  How many times has the entire sudbury police force been occupied with a crisis that they could not spare one man for another?  Never. Not, once. 

*Riding Dirty.  To have illegal substances in your car, whilst  you drive.

And A Bonus from Stevie B.  His Number One Complaint about Sudbury/LS is......

Loyalty-There is none of it.

Seen Below:  Pants, not nearly as good as shorts.