My Big Long List of People Who Piss Me Off

People who give the thumbs up.

Anyone who mentions Jesus to me in a non religious conversation.

People who Drink RC Cola.

People Who like Everwood.

The dentist’s assistant who always bitches about me not flossing.

People who can’t control their bratty little Son of Bitch jr. in a restaurant

Guys who wear their cellphones on their belts.

Guys who wear pink and try and convince me pink is the new blue.

Anyone who has an opinion on Iraq but cannot locate it on a map.

Nascar fans.

People who drive Hummers.

American Idol fans.

Whoever decided to put cranberries in everything.

People who keep photos of their pets in their wallet.

Guys who listen to Fallout Boy

Girls who tell you what they ate and complain about how fat they are.

People who cannot spell ‘conscience’.

Any doctor who gives me the shit advice to avoid using the part of me that hurts.

Anyone from Chicago.

People who still quote Austin Powers.  It’s been like 7 years, goddamnit.

Bon Jovi.

Anyone who wakes up before 10am, for no reason.

Anyone who owns the complete first season of the O.C.

People who pay 50 dollars for a shirt. 

People who buy pre-wornout jeans.

Guys who own conditioner.

People who say “You aren’t gunna wanna hear this from me but….”

Moped drivers.

Anyone who has ever said anything negative about Sean Connery. Ever.

People who say they “don’t get” American Beauty.

Anyone who quotes Family Guy 40 times in a 2 minute conversation.

People who don’t think that ‘poop’ is the funniest word in the English language.

Anyone who can speak Spanish and still takes it as a language in school.

People who own more than one pair of Oakley sunglasses.

Skateboarders.

Surfers.

Baseball fanatics.

Anyone who likes George Bush.

Anyone who does not love Bill Clinton.

People who tell you how gifted their kids are.  You are their parents, those kids are obviously fucked.

Below: How I deal with those people