Road Trip Journal:July 10th

         For weeks I had lazed around, not doing much.  I excitement of surviving Steve in the Chronicles of Gloucester had worn thin. It was time for a new adventure.  I thought long and hard.  Suddenly a feeling that originated in my stomach, willowed through my body.  A senstation that was a eureka momment for me.  A momment of perfect clarity about my next move. After a long trip to the bathroom, I was back to thinking about my trip.  I realized out of laziness, that I didn't need a 'plan' or even a 'map'.  I had my 99 saddle brown Volvo, a full tank of gas, and over 21 dollars (23 if you count change).

         I checked my roledex for some companions on my journey into the wild mystery that is our national highways.  I flipped it around and randomly stuck my finger in to a name.  I then flipped again because the name was Chris Crowley.  I again stuck it in randomly and got Patty Denmare, a girl i felt up in 8th grade and then never talked to again.  Damnit.  I just turned the roledex to Nick Roopenian and pretended like it was fate.  I gave me ole buddy Nick a ring ting a ling.

 "Talk to me"

"Nick it's Tsug, you wanna go on a Road Trip with me?"

"What? (loud clamouring in the backround) Hold on, man.  BITCH SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH. SAY ANOTHER GODDAMN THING AND I WILL STAB YOUR EYES OUT.  Anyway, what did you say man?"

"...How about we take a roa-"

I was cut off by chatter in the backround

"UH! Give me two seconds Tsug...THATS IT BITCH, I WARNED YOU, NOW MEET MR. MEATHOOK"

 I then heard what can only be described as the noise eyes make when you stab them.

"Nick?"

"(cleary winded) Yea? Whats up?"

"Road Trip?"

"I am so fucking in."

"We leave tomorrow, sun up"

"Whens sun up"

"6.28 Am, Standard Eastern Time"

"Rock on!"

       I hung up and giddily began packing.  I packed the usual suspects of cosmetics.  My shampoo, my conditioner, my hair gel, my hair mosturizer, my shower caps. After my two suitcases of hair products and man-scents*, i packed a light bag of clothes and my most important item my Jimmy Buffett 1993 classic CD entitled 'Jimmy' featuring the song 'Pina Coladas'.  Pure bliss.

      I stayed up half the night, plotting our course**, before sleep finally overtook me.

*my term for colognes

 **thinking about boobies

Below: My favorite man-scent